beach

  the whole tribe

 at sunset...

my fav time

 Nick & I

 maybe this is the whole tribe

 boys...being boys

gotta love it

* * *

 Dad & Paige

 Dad & Stonewall (his shadow)

 Dad & Hunter (aka Tank)

 Dad & Timothy 

(his look a like)

 Dad & Caleb 

(my look a like)

 Dad & Levi 

(traveling buddy)

Dad & Josiah

(work buddy, 

who just might outgrow him!)

only a year

anyone who's been reading 

here for long knows what Nov 1st was

where are the words to say?
 

to anyone who thinks what I feel

is not normal...

I know you have never been through it

to anyone who thinks

the way I grieve is wrong...

I don't care what you think

I realize you are ignorant

on this subject

I try not to fault you...

but it gets difficult when you 

insist you are right

since I'm the one going through it

I know you are wrong.

I refuse to hide my hurt...

I let it show 

so that others who hurt 

will not feel alone.

When my hurting helps someone else

then I am not alone.

I know many others hurt

from the loss

I also know they do not hurt

like those who have lost.

That being said...

This has been an incredibly long year.

Since my little Boaz...

my little man

went home to be with the Lord

there have been many changes.

Some good, some not so

I can tell you that in a year

I know I still have no idea

what I'm going to feel

in the future.

I know that I will not know 
until it comes..

and sometimes it's hard to realize..

until later.

I know what I have felt:

like the house is empty...

when I know it's not.

like I am alone...

when I know I'm not.

like part of me died..

because it did.

 

last minute mini vacation

last week, or was it the week before?
we had to take a 

quick trip to tend some business

and it happened to be near

"my" beaches

we missed seeing some friends

(but maybe next time)
as it turned out, Nick was pretty sick
so while he & the lil boys napped
I enjoyed playin with the big kids 
it was a win-win situation for me!!!

 Caleb had gotten a little cold

 they were playing football

though I don't know where it is

 Hunter digging

Timothy burying himself

 Josiah...football again

Levi

Stonewall

 the boys buried Paige and Cali

 Paige and Stonewall
she loves her brothers
and they love her
or is it to aggravate her

Paige actually slept out on the balcony
it is like nothing else
hearing the waves crashing all night

 Josiah and Alex being goofy

Every morning we spend
at the ocean
I wake to find all the children
peeking out the windows
or sitting on the balcony 

Levi the lifeguard

 the boys love Alex
because he spends lots of time with them
and I think he likes them too :)

 Paige and Cali
we (Paige&Cali, Alex&Josiah and me)
were playing a game
1 person is it and picks a "favorite" 
thing to call out
fav color, animal....
and all was fine until....
just Alex & I were NOT it
so Paige, Cali, & Josiah WERE it
it only took a sec for them to decide
"soda" - sounds innocent, right
but everyone knows Alex & I drink
DR PEPPER
so we took off swimming across the pool
underwater, because we can
and they couldn't
but they got us anyway
it seems the air is only at the top LOL

Alex and Stonewall, again

we got an underwater camera
just for fun
I realized that most of my
children don't go under 
without holding their nose
or a mask on
which is weird to me
Nick & I both swim "normal" 
which is no mask or nose holding 

 Paige (mask) & Cali (holding nose)

 Caleb (mask)

Alex (neither) trying to "nap"
which didn't work too well 

Cali & Paige
sun setting
waves crashing
there are more pics, 
where everyone thinks I'm torturing them
I will try to get them up tomorrow
or the next day  ;)

winning prizes

the children were able to help

a school with it's annual

chocolate sell

I must admit, 

I didn't have very high hopes

for several reasons

 but the kids did

and they sold every chance

they came in 3rd place in sales 

this year at the school

and won prizes to go with it

the principal sat in the dunking booth

 it was a bit cool out

but the teenage boys dumping  in

 55 gallons of ice surely didn't help

Caleb was the 1st to dunk him!!

Way to go Caleb!!!

Timothy with his bike

 Stonewall has always loved a bike

it had to be Hot Wheels

 Levi on his bike

 Josiah had to have an air soft pistol

my boys like guns

 Caleb and his roller blades

 Hunter and his bike

Paige,

though

wanted 

flip flops

and

ear rings!!!

So they all got some really great prizes and had a good time too!!

random

some of my favorite recent pics

i love how the sun streaks

across the sky

i never tire of taking

pics of sunsets

especially on the beach

 boys being boys

 Paige

 Levi

 Cameron & Paige

 Caleb looking for shark teeth

and he found two

 Robert shell hunting

 Josiah

 playing football

 wrestling like normal

nothing for a peaceful place

like the beach