Thank you God for letting me...
enjoy all his smiles
feel his small hand in mine
have his fuzzy head on my pillow
explore the world with him
have his scribbles on my paper
get used to him sleeping with his shoes on
(because we WERE going home!!!)
pick-up his darts all over the room
hear him call "Mommy, Mommy"
see his dancing eyes when he was mischievous
tote his cups everywhere
smell his sweet smell
need an endless supply of cheerios
brush his soft hair, often
watch football on tv with him
have to search for "yertle turtle"
wash his blankie when he drifted off
push him in the swing till I thought
my arms would fall off
and pull him in the wagon till I was dizzy
open his snacks
dry his eyes
clean the sand out of his clothes...again
have so many giggly mornings
buckle his car seat
show him videos on my phone (over&over&over)
rub his head at night because he wanted me to
have fun getting splashed all those times he was in the tub
fetch his cars after they crashed at the end of the racetrack
trace his little hand on paper
paint with him
teach him to "blow" in my flute
learn to let him do it on his own
have sleepless nights to spend with my little man
have days when I tended him all day long
feel his soft kisses
rock him to sleep
feel his little hand patting my back
hear his feet pattering across the floor first thing in the morning
have "my love"........."my little man"
***
Thank you for letting me love him
like I knew he was dying!